How To Write Inclusive Wedding Vows That Reflect Equality and Partnership

Rosalie
5 days ago
6 min read

In today’s world, many couples are reimagining the traditions that shape their wedding day. and if you are reading this, you may very well be one of them! As the Fusion Wedding Celebrant, this is at the heart of what I do.

Many couples I work with seek contemporary ways to celebrate their love while honouring traditions or rituals passed down through their cultural or religious heritage.

However, some of these wedding traditions and rituals are informed by values that no longer resonate with couples that are getting married today. Where traditional wedding rituals, particularly rooted in older customs, are based on patriarchal norms, couples today are looking for an inclusive ceremony: a reflection of shared values, equality, mutual respect and partnership.

One powerful way to express this is through your wedding vows. Instead of reflecting outdated gender roles, inclusive wedding vows celebrate a union built on shared purpose and agency.

Whether you're planning a multicultural, interfaith, bilingual or personalised secular ceremony, your vows can honour your love story while championing the values you both hold dear.

Read on to learn more!

What Are Inclusive Wedding Vows?

At their core, inclusive wedding vows consciously move away from patriarchal norms that reinforce roles where one partner leads and the other follows. Phrases like "to obey" or "to serve" have no place in a relationship founded on equality.

Inclusive vows, instead, speak to partnership. They recognise each person's autonomy and celebrate the choice to stand beside one another. Not out of obligation, but from a place of love and mutual respect.

This doesn't mean stripping away romance or sentiment. In fact, inclusive vows can be even more meaningful because they reflect the unique dynamic between two equals choosing to grow together and stand by each other’s side, no matter what.

Fusion wedding couple wearing flower garlands share their inclusive wedding vows while smiling. — Jannike and Piri share their personalised wedding vows. Photo credits Emis Photography.

Why Choose Inclusive Wedding Vows?

Many couples find that inclusive vows resonate because they reflect the reality of their relationship. Today’s partnerships are often based on co-leadership: shared decisions, shared responsibilities, and shared dreams. Modern and inclusive vows are simply an honest expression of that bond.

If you are a couple with a multicultural or interfaith background, this can be a meaningful way to honour both tradition and progression. You can retain elements of your heritage while updating the language of your wedding vows to reflect your mutual values.

Inclusive vows also give both partners equal space to express their emotions, goals, and commitments. It’s about dismantling the idea that one partner is the emotional centre or the sole caregiver, it’s about balance, mutual respect, and listening to each other as equals.

Multicultural couple in front of colourful rose arch. The bride reads inclusive wedding vows, the groom smiles — Maria shares her vows with Kit as part of their bilingual fusion wedding. Photo by Tell Your Story Photography.

Ideas for Writing Your Inclusive Wedding Vows

If you’re thinking about writing your own vows with an inclusive lens, here are a few prompts to get started:

Focus on partnership

Use language like “We will,” “Together we’ll,” and “I choose you each day.” This highlights shared agency.

Acknowledge individuality

Recognise that each of you is your own person, with your own dreams and strengths. Affirm the choice to walk side by side.

Reject stereotypes

Avoid language that assigns roles based on gender (e.g., “You’ll take care of the home,” or “I’ll be your protector”).

Include practical commitments

Promising to listen, to compromise, and to support each other in careers or parenting can make your vows feel grounded and realistic.

Make space for humour and honesty

Inclusive love doesn’t have to be overly serious! Laughter, flaws, humorous anecdotes and shared quirks can be part of your story too.

Multicultural couple against a backdrop of a chapel and pink roses. The celebrant reads their inclusive wedding vows. — Zeya and Craig making their commitments with personalised, inclusive wedding vows. Photo by Paul Underhill.

Sample Inclusive Wedding Vows

Inclusive vows speak to partnership. They recognise each person's autonomy and celebrate the choice to stand beside one another as equal partners in marriage, choosing to grow together - not out of obligation, but from love, balance, respect and listening to each other as equals.

Here are seven examples of inclusive wedding vows:

1. Growing in unity

“I, [name], vow to share my life with you, [name] to grow with you in unity as a kindred spirit, best friend and husband/wife. To begin each day newly with patience and empathy knowing that your joy and laughter is my joy and laughter, and your challenges are my challenges. Together we become more than we could ever be alone.”

2. Living together as equal and different individuals

“[name], do you affirm your promise to share your life with [name]? Will you continue to allow them to change and develop, to live together as equal and different individuals, and to recognise and accept their strengths, weaknesses and quirks?

Do you seek to trust the ups and downs of your love, whatever may come, and if you should ever doubt, to remember your love for each other and the reason why you came together with them this day?

Do you promise to walk by [name’s] side, sharing their laughter and his tears, now and all the days of your life?

I do.”

3. Walking side by side

“On this day,

I give you my heart,

My promise,

That I will walk with you,

Hand in hand,

Wherever our journey leads us,

Living, learning, loving,

Together,

Forever.”

4. Becoming a better person because of the other

“You have been my best friend, ally, mentor, greatest cheerleader and my greatest challenge. But most importantly, you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible... You have made me a better person, as our love for one another is reflected in the way I live my life. So I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together.”

5. Building a life together

“Today, I promise you this: I will laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement. Together, let us build a home filled with learning, laughter and light, shared freely with all who may live there. Let us be partners, friends and lovers, today and all of the days that follow.”

6. Partnership with humour

“I promise to be your partner in life and love. To continually be curious, to embrace the mystery of you, and of living with you. This includes, by the way, supporting all your crazy hobbies, which include sky-diving, marathon-running, obsessions with chess and plane-spotting.

In line with that, I promise to be silly with you. To keep doing those crazy dances in the kitchen, to keep screaming at the top of our lungs cycling home, to keep playing with you - even when we’re old and grey and not so mobile anymore.

I promise to work as a team with you against anything life throws at us, any challenges we may encounter, I promise to move through them together and find shelter in each other. And finally, I promise to give you and myself the space to grow as people separately and together as one.

I love you.”

7. I choose you again, and again and again

“I stand beside you today not because I need you, but because I choose you. I promise to listen with compassion, speak with honesty, and grow with you—always as your equal. I vow to build a home where we both thrive, to share in joy and shoulder the hard days together. With respect for who you are and love for all we are becoming, I choose you again, and again, and again.”

Final Thoughts

Use the guide in this blog as a source of inspiration for your own inclusive wedding vows. If any of the above examples of inclusive wedding vows resonate with you, feel free to use them for your wedding ceremony. You can also further personalise them by tweaking the words so they feel like yours.

As the Fusion Wedding Celebrant, I believe that every couple deserves a wedding that reflects their unique bond. Whether you’re blending cultures, reinterpreting traditions, or simply looking for a more intentional way to say “I do,” inclusive wedding vows offer a powerful way to anchor your ceremony in equality, mutual respect, partnership, love, and authenticity.

Let your words reflect the future you’re building together. One where both voices are heard, and both hearts are valued. Where two people, two souls, two worlds, walk and dance hand in hand.

Curious to learn more? If you are booking me for your ceremony, vow guidance tailored to your story and wishes is included in the package! Get in touch, I'd love to hear from you.